I WANT TO SEE SOME ME DAMNED FOOTBALL

Somewhere in Irving, Texas.....

CRASH! BOOM! SWOOSH... WHOOSH! KLABOOM! BANG! BOOM!

Jerry: "Well dad-gum. I just spent $8 gazillion on that new stadium, and now this. Blow me down and call me Popeye!"

The storm clouds part, and the light of heaven shines on the old fogey...

Jerry: "Awww, come on Gad, what happened?"

God: "We have talked of this Jerry. What in my name are you thinking? You know that this time of year is like watching the Himalayas grow. I want to see some me damn football!"

Jerry:"Well, you know Gad, we uhh.. We could have come up with something better than this. Atleast you could have taken out Wade if things were going to be this way."

God: "How 'bout I ram this lightning bolt up your ass!"

BOOM!!!

Jerry:"Ewwww... Don't think them depends are gonna help me much on that one..."

God:"Now turn your hearing aid up and listen. I am BORED! All I see is basketball and baseball! I am BORED! Idle hands are the devil's playground, so I tore the me damned roof off of your practice facility so I could watch practice."

Jerry:"Awww, Gad, people are hurt."

God:"Its ok, the injuries are minor. Besides, half of them were media members anyway. Not to mention, you owe me. I never got any royalties from all that bullshit you were talking back in the 70's about how you guys were my favorite team. You guys fucking blow, I watch the Giants."

Jerry:"I guess your right... I guess now I have somthin' new to piss my money away on. But just so you know there Gad, the roof on the new shed over there is gonna be closed every game..."

God:"Don't threaten me you mere mortal. Remember, you still have the season to play. And I love messing with you guys come December time. Its a great early birthday present for Jesus. He's a Philly guy..."